Christmas

Lets see the trees up the light are on, Ahh I know add a shot of Vodka to the water, it breaks down the resin and lets the tree get water. Did you remember to cover that pipe outside? what about the hoses, did you disconnect them? You better!

Holiday Lights Part 1

Well, it's getting around Christmas time and you thought I wouldn't have a project for you. There's lights to hang, trees to put up, etc. Preparation and the ability to untangle those lights from last year is the key to this. I know my friend, been there done that. But behold I learned, so can you! I always start looking outside to see the placement of the lights and assorted stuff for the lawn. Of course the logistics of wiring them all together w/o starting a fire, (that's why they make fire pits), is always something we put off. Usually until another voice is heard from! Well, it's time. If you live where it snows, I feel for you. But we must tread on.
1st, We need a plan of attack, try not to approach this like Chevy Chase in his movies. We need something to hang the lights from the gutters, eaves, fascia board (flat wood that covers the eaves), under the roof tiles. I like to use a hanger that doesn't leave a mark or hole, split wood, bent gutter etc. (Home Depot™ & Walmart™) Check outdoor lighting section. They make a plastic type of hook for this, it works on just about everything you hang up there. Good, are they in a ball, knot, wrapped around from last year? We need to untangle them, find the 2 ends and lay them in opposite directions. Now start the process, weaving and pulling and stretching you know the drill! 1st cup of nog down. they should be free of distress and knots. Now we can proceed. Find your outdoor outlets and place the strings (male side) near there. The female side is for plugging multiple strings together. See we've already started, lay off the egg nog until this project is well in hand. If you don't have outdoor plugs get one of those outdoor plugs that you can plug multiple strings into. Along w/ this use only outdoor extension cords. Of course their UL approved, aren't they all? I put a couple of the hooks at the beginning of the string to hold them up until I can stretch the rest over the span of the gutter. Unless you have help, this works pretty good. Now continue, adding the hooks as you go, You did check them 1st? okay, plug them in before you hang them! They all work? Make sure you leave the end to plug in, closest to the plug you're going to use, even if their to short we can add an extension cord here. I try to run them as to where they are going to go in the garage at that one plug you have, here you want to put the timer, . Pretty easy huh? Okay, that went smooth and your done with the upper stuff, you know Santa, Reindeer, Stars, whatever else you put on the roof or just up on the wall. If we're firmly on the ground the hard stuff is done and we can celebrate w/ more nog! Do the same w/ your ground fixtures so the cords end up at the outdoor plug again. You should now have all the lights done, the lawn stuff and one cord coming from the outdoor plug to the timer. Set the timer, Auto on/off it makes it a lot easier for the late night show you intend to do! If you have outdoor plugs just get a timer. Plug the timer into the plug that will suck all the energy of the neighborhood. Everything works! Great go finish off the nog, you were saving for this moment. Leave the timer turned on to automatically turn on and off the lights. See now you don't have to go out there and do the old 20th century on/off routine. Or call that pro! They really do have people who hang lights! Next, the dreaded Christmas tree. I will show you later how to wrap up everything so that next year this is a breeze! See Ya

Holiday Lights Part 2

Christmas Tree:
Now you might be saying the BAH! Humbug term.
Well, don't despair the repair guy is there, Yeah, right!
By now you should have Thanksgiving cleaned up and had that additional snack.
I have a simple way to get it up and ready. We already know about the untangling thing, so I hope you read my last post for this. Think of it as your pop quiz on lights.
1st: Get the tree, real, fake we'll do each one. I get the fake, my wife handles the candles for the smell. KEEP them away from the tree!
I also put a small open eye hook in the wall behind the tree so the cats won't bring down the whole thing. Put it at the top where the tree will be tallest in the wall, and loop fishing line around it, then put the same line (other end) at the top of the tree, loop around the top about 2' down. Dog? Real tree? Watch them they like trees too! But not for knocking down!!
Fake, 1st put it together, easy enough, if you remember the way you did it last year. 1st year of fake? How come you didn't buy it last year when they were 1/2 price after x-mas? You did, great, your learning. Follow the instructions and save the twist ties! They also sell w/ the lights already on, sometimes life is to easy! Proper storage is invaluable. Now get those lights out and test them. They work, (See last post on this). I string them by the way the tree will be presented, meaning in the corner a half wrap works. Start by going to the top of the tree, do you have a tree topper? put it up! plug it into the 1st string, (they sell outlets that let you put the outlet in the middle of the tree). Attach your lights to this, or use the old method of hiding the cord in the tree. Begin by going up from the inside to get the end of the string, bring the lights out from here. Use the half wrap method of going around the tree until the string runs out. Attach string 2, again the same way. Do this for about 2 strings (depending on the amount of lights per string. When you get about 2-3' down, start using the half wrap. W/O going all the way around, (cover the front good, and the back loop towards the back around to the front around to the other side). Check outside the window for appearance. Continue until your out of lights (now would be a good time to get more) or the tree is wrapped. Center of room total wrap. Start the same way but instead of half wrap, totally wrap the tree around until the same result, (no more lights) or your done.
Next the ornaments, get the kids! Have them put up the unbreakable ones. Now that the lower half is done, continue up the tree placing them where there are gaps. Step back take a look, do you see a gap still? Fill it! Look again, don't forget the back, we have a name for the heavy ornaments, we call them "sinkers" we all have them, but they sag the branch upon hanging. Put these on the branch that is thicker than most of the others.
Real: Get a bag, Home Depot™, Walmart™ they sell them and are disposable,(your call) that you put at the bottom of the tree for later removal of the tree.
Now for the tinsel, (ugh)! I don't use this on fake trees because it's a mess next year. trust me, been there! Better to use garland, popcorn, beads, ribbon etc. Some use feathers, or something exotic. Something removable, Wrap as lights, half, total wrap etc.
Now get some pine cones and add them for scent. Now the tree skirt, come on you really don't need help on this do you? they also sell timers and on/off switches for indoor use, Hmm... At this point. I hope you don't have a cat, they love trees! If you do, have fun putting up the ornaments, garland, pine cones, lights, etc again. How does it look? Great, send me a picture! Have a Merry one this year! See Ya'

Holidays

Turkey day, Football, Family, well 2 out of 3 ain't bad. I am thankful my wife has hung around for all these years. Who would've thought! The fact that I lived this long, again same thought. My friends who also hung around, I didn't say they were, you know. The things I've accomplished, and the things I still have to do. Finally, thank you Las Vegas. So my new friends, have a Happy Thanksgiving! The only thing you should be doing today is turkey and football x 3, Take the over, ± Now, take the day off and have a libation on me! We'll get back to the fixing things tomorrow.
Repair Guy